207 definitions by von groovy
Ian: I just saw that Jesus is truly here! It is insane! He has performed multiple miracles, ended all wars, and he actually seems to be in favor of racism.
Sean: Well, dip my balls in cream and squat me in a kitchen full of kittens!
Sean: Well, dip my balls in cream and squat me in a kitchen full of kittens!
by von groovy June 28, 2017
The counting tool that flabby people (mis)calculate their caloric intake and they almost always underestimate.
Bluto: According to my estimates, I am several hundred calories under my daily intake. I will go ahead and have that Red Velvet Chocolate Milkshake!
Olivia: Not so fast there, big boy! I think you may have been using your flabacus instead of your calculator. You'll get nothing and love it!
Olivia: Not so fast there, big boy! I think you may have been using your flabacus instead of your calculator. You'll get nothing and love it!
by von groovy June 20, 2017
I was at this truck stop standing near the pay showers when I heard this one trucker say to another, "hey, you know that song by that faggot?" I just grabbed my Code Red and Corn Nuts and went back to my car before I heard the answer.
by von groovy February 22, 2019
Consensual sex and or intercourse. It happens when friends create friction in the right places with another.
Danny: I'm freakin' out over Annika! We got close last night and were interrupted. Couldn't finish.
Flip: No good, man. Not at all.
Danny: We're meeting in an hour. We're gonna get right to the friendly friction!
Flip: No good, man. Not at all.
Danny: We're meeting in an hour. We're gonna get right to the friendly friction!
by von groovy August 20, 2017
This cake is the dried and combined juices of both parents when a successful conception has occurred. It can be found anywhere and is not recommended for eating.
Two hours after confirmation that she was pregnant, Ashley finally washed her sheets and got rid of the first birthday cake.
by von groovy March 1, 2019
The desperate way of wishing for something that will not happen because the wisher does not have enough self-discipline.
Betty: Oh, Carlene! I really hope that Graham calls me! He's just so dreamy!
Carlene: Betty! Get real! He's from the good part of town. You truly wish like a fat girl!
Carlene: Betty! Get real! He's from the good part of town. You truly wish like a fat girl!
by von groovy June 9, 2017
Scott: "Yeah, 6th grade sucked!"
Brett: "Yep, that's when things got hairy for me. Wet dreams and messy laundry."
Brett: "Yep, that's when things got hairy for me. Wet dreams and messy laundry."
by von groovy June 7, 2019